December 29, 2006
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Why is it in our culture we like a lot of house, a lot of car, a lot of food, basically a lot of everything but….not a lot of children? Why in a culture that has everything in abundance is having a large family not considered desirable as well?
*Edited to add* The questions is really not about how many children people should have it is more about why a society as rich as ours undervalues children (but values stuff) when cultures with a lot less consider children to be a blessing. Godwilling those children grow up and become good and productive members of the society, shouldn’t they be valued and desired?
Comments (14)
I think because in our culture the pursuit of things is more important. Children would hinder that pursuit. Children would take up thos material things. We are often told by different people (especially when we mention being *poor*) ,”but we are VERY rich in blessings”. In our current culture, children are not a blessing they are a burden which must be dealt with. Why is it that the first question people ask when they hear I have 7 children is, “Oh my, how do you do it?????” It is sad.
when you have children, you have less of everything else. But you know, you are right, it is odd that children aren’t a status symbol….more than two, I mean. Two are a status symbol, but any more than that is an oops, it seems.
What they said. Once upon a time, if you only had one or two children, people worried about you. Now if you have more than two they worry about you. I have an idea why folks have these great big houses and only two people rattling around in them like leftover dried beans in a can: they’ve replaced what is lasting with what is temporary and don’t even know it. It’s just sad. :jealous:
Happy New Year
Having children in a family is a very personal choice and part of family management. And I know many people who would like to include children into their family and are unable – a heart breaking realization. Having four children in our family, I have been asked by several people, who think they are well meaning but they are not, why in the world would we have 4 children in our family, its too many, “we” are too big to consider easy to include or “manage” for after all its half a dozen don’t you know. “Did you mean to have this many?” “What would you do different?” Are you kidding me, God has blessed us more than we ever could have considered simply by each addition into our loving group. As soon as I began concentrating on things outside of my own little world and saw life through giving to someone else, I truly saw how living with God meant living with myself as not the most important part. “Loving God and Loving each other”, developing a self-less love and consideration to the world…I am NOT the most important part, God is.
Having children is one of the most intimate and demanding relationships, and one of the ones which gives the feelings which are the deepest – deepest joy, deepest hope, deepest pain, deepest loss – all in all, selfless love. Having children within a family requires a change of priorities, a different ranking system, a new position for how one considers themself. I could never imagine our life without any one of us. And though pregnancy and delivery were healthy and easy for me, I knew 4 was “enough” as clear as if a bell rung. Three is the hardest anyone may have to do, once you get past three you can manage 20!
The self is a large object we encounter early on in a spiritual journey and facing the realiets of a selfish life are not pleasant.
well we have a lot of children and a lot of an old troublesome house…lol…how’s that for having your cake and eating it too?
Like was said before, more children = less goodies. For me, having a lot of children is desirable but, for me anyway, having more than 2 is way too hard. I can barely manage 3. I don’t know how women get through the day with more than 3.
I don’t think it matters how many children we have as long as we love and care for the ones God gave us. I am happy for all who have large families. More blessings!!!! But I have felt less at times (not from anyone here!) because I could only have two. We have to be careful not to judge.
Then you will appreciate this: http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/verizonmath/solve-this-math-problem-verizon-221345.php
(the solution is 2 cents, supposedly)
And yeah, the poor guy is being so patient considering the ignorance. Did you hear when the *manager* said to him “that’s your opinnion”. He’s like, “It’s not my opinion – it’s math!!!!”
I have often wondered why American society devalues children, all I can come up with is pure selfishness. I only have two children , although when I am out and about with the girl I babysit I have three with me, and I get comments like “Boy you have your hands full!” and other lovely sentiments. The truth is that children are blessings, eternal ones. But our culture is so money, stuff me, me, me driven that the mere thought of having less time for that or having to give up that expensive doodad is unthinkable. It’s not even intentional in some people, just a antural by product of all the braineashing that you encounter growing up. I would rather have one more child than 20 trips to some resort, a fancy car or big house. If I had to have the kids sharing bunk beds to fit them all in I would sooner do that than not. Sadly, though it is going to take a lot of time in changing the world, but rest assured, we are at the beginning of that change. It doesn;t mater if we have 1 or 20 children, it is all in how we deal with them and our attitudes towards them. Simply responding with an enthusiastic positive comment when someone is pregnant is a start, I hate it when someone says so are you going to be done after this one? How horrible!!!!
actually, there have been a few major news articles in the last year or so, touting (or reporting the seeming trend of) ’larger families’ and ‘more children’ as the new status symbols. go figure, huh?
I believe like the already mentioned we are a very selfish society. I also think that having many kids means you are some type of religious radical, or have no idea how to prevent pregnancy. Both of which, I believe is incredibly wrong!
I’ll step out on the wire here, and say, I believe that not every family is to have a quiverful, espicially if you can’t take care of what you already have. No life is a mistake, don’t get me wrong, but I have seen families suffer because parents are having kids for other reasons than for procreation, parents that have many personal issues themselves. Not healthy to bring a child into that mess.
My father told me that 70% of grandparents are raising their grandkids. Shocking!!! Married couples are so ill equipped to be married, let alone to be parents. It’s very sad to see children without parents due to divorce/neglect/abandonment.
I think I got off on a tangent here. But a very interesting question.
Personally, I would love to have many children. Maybe the Lord will bless me with that, BUT realistically I just don’t know if I could mentally handle it. The Lord knows, I trust Him.
I am in a family that has the “stuff” mentality, and harasses us for not buying our 7 the “latest” in gadgets and high end clothes. Well, they spit up and leak on high end clothes just like they do the ones I get much more frugally, so I am not really worried about that. It sure would be nice to NOT get the intense hostility from family members, but we are who we are anyway. Throw in our conversion on top of the large family and we are really considered freaks now. :giggle:
My children have changed me, each one of them, and made me more of what I was intended to be. This may mean we are short on cash all the time, but the trade off would be awfully quiet and lonely for me.
I think that our society has become more concerned about careers and how many material things we can aquire instead of focusing on what is really important, God and family. We should take an example from the Greeks………..they have the right idea.
Also……….I read your arguement for infant baptism. It made a lot of sense to me.