October 17, 2008

• If the devil were to write his beatitudes, they would probably go something like this:

  
  1.  Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend a few hours a week with their fellow Christians in worship – they are my best workers.
  
  2.  Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked – I can use them.
  
  3.  Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church – they are my missionaries.
  
  4.  Blessed are the troublemakers – they shall be called my children.
  
  5.  Blessed are the complainers – I’m all ears to them.
  
  6.  Blessed are those who are bored with the priest’s mannerisms and mistakes – for they get nothing out of his      sermons.
  
  7.  Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church – for he is part of the problem     instead of the solution.
  
  8.  Blessed are those who gossip – for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.
  
  9.  Blessed are those who are easily offended – for they will soon get angry and quit.
  
  10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God’s work – for they are my helpers.
  
  11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister – for he shall be with me forever.
  
  12. Blessed are you who, when you read this and think it is about other people and not yourself – I’ve got you too.

  • 2:20 pm
  • 1 Comment